Always and Forever ♥

This time, last year, we rushed to the hospital around 7am only to find my cousin gone, gone forever. The day before, everyone was at the hospital, praying and crying their hearts out in the ICU. Beside her, rubbing my hands on hers to make her feel warm, assuming a response would be given, I felt the pain she felt. It was really hard for her, she was struggling. No one expected her to end up in a semi-comatose state and be gone (staying at the hospital) in less than 24hrs. Her sudden death felt like we got massacred, got hit by a train, just really any tragic death humanly possible. We all hoped she wouldn't give up, we asked and prayed that she would choose to fight, but it was too agonistic. It was really hard for her. Devastated with her decision, we still had to accept the fact that she was gone. She was the strongest person I know, and I look up to her, I still do. You would often see her giddy and smiling but deep inside, she was grieving. Even though she had so much problems to face, she never failed to make her relatives and friends happy. She was the older sister I never had. Since we were young up until we were old enough to be (almost) dependent, she was still always there to guide us, to make sure we were okay. Ikaw pa nga referee namin ni Raia oh! And Rolf was our bodyguard who protected us. The other day I was thinking about how our children would look like, what Rs would their names be, the career path we chose. But you were only given 18 years, and it was too damn short. You had a big dream, following the footsteps of your dad, wanting to become an architect. Neil has become one of our cousins now, he terribly misses you. I honestly think that the day that I will get over your passing away will never come.. A year of struggling was hardly survived, everything's so different now. And here we are again, preparing for Christmas with thought of you not being here to celebrate it with us. We still feel incomplete, have been feeling incomplete and will be feeling incomplete in years to come. We miss you so much.

Thank you for guiding us with Tatay Ben from up above. Loving you, always and forever.